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“There’s nothing wrong with my humans. My humans are beautiful. My human stock  is the correct type. Do you know where these Great humans come from? You know nothing;  my humans come from the country of origin, I’ll have you know, so they are the original bloodline, the pure unadulterated race; they are far superior than those stick-thin ugly skin-and-bones species you call humans. You call these humans? These whippety humans of yours could never go hunting and wrestling. Mine are heavyweight champions of the world. They are the originals. Like the ancient humans from Assyria, and Molossia, my humans are the direct descendants of the Colossus.

My Euro-humans conform to the race standard. I love my humans. They are very happy and absolutely healthy. How dare you say there’s anything wrong with my perfect baby humans. Their eyes are beautiful and healthy, they can see fine with their perfect eyes. There’s nothing wrong with my humans’ eyes. They feel no pain and no discomfort, you don’t understand the standard of beauty, you stupid. These are superior Great Germans – this is a German breed of humans, so those British and those American and Scandinavian and Australian humans of yours are not the same thing; you should have never been allowed to call them humans – you don’t follow the only true standard, the German standard. You took our standard and you changed it and you breed these weaklings, these grasshoppers – bah !

Look at my beautiful humans’ eyes – are you saying that all these International expert specialist judges that awarded my humans all these titles at so many beauty contests are wrong? My humans are Club Champions and European Winner champions and multi- champions and World Champions and International Champions of Beauty. Have you seen my trophies? I have yooge room for my trophies, I have more trophies than all of you grasshopper breeders together. Have your humans ever won anything ? Have you ever bred such gorgeous big powerful humans? You are just jealous of ME and my superiority and my outstanding humans. My Champion Great humans are sought after all over the world, people can’t get enough of my babies, they can’t wait to import the semen from my Great German human studs for their bitches. You are jealous of ME and my success. You hate ME and my Great humans, more exports for ME – and more euros in my Bank account. Ha! Insignificant little ignoramuses, you are jealous midgets, my records speak for themselves.

So there. I’m rich. I’m yooge. My humans have YOOGE heads and yooge bone and yooge body mass. I’m world famous for my humans, my true Apollos. My humans are yooge! Your humans are scrawny, skinny, anorexic greyhounds. My humans are real Great humans, strong and masculine. Your humans look gay. Mine are bigger than yours. So STFU about my humans -do you know who I am? I’m a widely respected famous  breeder and judge – I am a doctor and I know the standard better than you – I’m an expert on what beautiful perfect eyes & eyelids look like”.

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Well then, wouldn’t we all humans just love to have such beautiful, healthy, sound eyes? such perfect eyes that cause absolutely no pain, no discomfort and no suffering, require absolutely no medical attention or corrective surgery, as they are absolutely recommended by International experts and so admired by Beauty Contest judges and approved by the EU Specialist Clubs as the desirable type of eyes to have and intentionally reproduce the same. Wouldn’t we all love to have such splendid and correct conformation and perfect eye shape and eyelids that don’t hurt at all when they rub on our corneas and we would never suffer from infections? Wouldn’t we all just love to have such stunning eyes to see with? Wouldn’t we all prefer to live with such perfect, beautifully shaped, comfortable and functional eyes and eyelids and tight skin every day of our lives ?

Go on, try it.

You care about these dogs as much as you care about your own children, isn’t that what you tell your misinformed customers?

You should be alright then.

Go on, you’ll be grand!

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the eyes of an FCI Dog Show winner “Great Dane”. Ruth Stolzewski photo.

The FCI Breed Standard No. 235 (Great Dane) lists Entropion, ectropion & macroblepharia as DISQUALIFYING faults.

So we have FCI Champion dogs and popular sires that should have been disqualified.

Lots of them.

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Ruth Stolzewski photos

I’d like to see you try these eyes on even for a single day, or a single minute, Hyper type and pseudo-Dane promoters, breeders, owners, exhibitors and judges, club officials and committees and Kennel Club members…I really would.  Why not? As you say there’s nothing wrong with these eyes – so nothing abusing or cruel about it. You should then be able to live with it yourselves, shouldn’t you ? Unless it’s OK for dogs – as “they don’t feel discomfort and pain like we do“, right ?

Unless you’re lying – and it’s actually very cruel and abusive as it causes pain and suffering.

Show these dogs to any veterinarian, not even an eye specialist.

Do you ask to see the eye examination certificates before you sign your “reproduction authorisations”, your breed warden assessments, your evaluations confirming these dogs are sound and typical and suitable for breeding? Can you, hand on heart, say that these dogs you approve could pass a veterinary inspection and that they have no visible disqualifying physical or behavioral abnormalities as the standard requires?

You put your expert signatures on a piece of paper and certify, as responsible breed caretakers and supposedly caring dog lovers, that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with those eyes – and that we should reward and reproduce them. You confirm that these dogs are fit and sound and healthy and worthy of the “excellent” grade and of championship certificates and conformation titles.

These titles are worthless.

And every day you fool less people than you fooled yesterday.

Those “greyhounds” are gonna have the last laugh.

And they’ll be smiling with their eyes, too.

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